When 3 become 4 – the tough and rewarding adjustments of a second child

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With three becoming four it’s seems to be an unbelievable unequal adjustment as two to three.

With our first, Munchkin, yes everything changed but we had time to recover at weekends. With our second, Sprout, we don’t have that luxury.

Here are all our unforeseen adjustments of a second child.

It’s worth it though….right?

adjustments of a second child
The little sleep stealer

Keeping time

Or rather not keeping time at all. Late is the new early right?

Let me give you some examples of this disaster:

  • 1: Swimming week 1: 5 minutes late, week 2: 20 minutes early.
  • 2: One morning we got Munchkin up and got as far as getting in the car. Only to realise we would miss breakfast at nursery so had to come back inside and try again an hour later!

Its been a mess!

Appreciating time

With the first child it’s a blur, mainly comprising of lack of sleep, sick and nappy changes.

You can find yourself wishing for development stages to speed up, that the child grows out of them and for progression to happen. It’s a feeling many parents are aware of and one we inevitably later regret.

With the second you want to stop time. Enjoy every moment. Have every snuggle and every sniff of that lovely baby smell. Because you know well now that it doesn’t last and soon they will crawl, walk and then run to school and beyond.

Less ‘us’ time

You’d think I’d be talking about partner time, but that’s a given with parenting!!

This one is for less time for Munchkin with all of us; Mummy, Daddy and both sets of Grandparents. He’s had solo play time for the first time of his life and less time with all his favourite people as they share their time with Sprout.

It’s a tough adjustment and one that invokes a feeling of guilt in me. I feel bad that I can’t give him all my time. Luckily Munchkin has adjusted well though and continues to be an excellent big brother.

Morning cuddles

Excellent 90% of the time that is with just the occasional ‘when does he go back inside Mummy’s tummy?’ in the first few weeks.

More responsibility

With just Munchkin I didn’t realise how much me and Natalie did together. For example, at bath time, when I would play with Munchkin, Mummy would sort out the clothes for the next day, she would then get him dry and changed while I cleaned up.

Add a sprout and I’ve realised how much extra responsibility there is with only one set of hands. Its more exhausting but, well, what did we expect?

Everything takes longer

If you thought getting one small preschooler dressed and into a car before 7:30 AM was tough imagine adding a hungry pooping crying little baby too.

It can take forever. It’s no wonder we can’t keep time.

Everything is harder

This one is no surprise. Everything is harder. You’ve really got to have all your eggs in a row and even then only sometimes it all goes to plan.

The trick is to leave time for everything to go wrong. A classic risk based analysis….

There is no catching up

With just Munchkin we could easily catch up from the tough nights of little sleep. With two there’s no catching up. And so many nights of 4 to 5 hours of sleep really add up to some exhausted parents.

you can’t blame me ?

You get all the snuggles again

There are positives too of this adjustment of a second child of course! You get baby snuggles again!

Baby snuggles make all the sleepless nights, the exhausting, the balancing act, the lateness and the mess worth it.


It is clear the adjustment to a second child has and can be a challenge. A challenge I did not really anticipate. It is such a major change in the family dynamic on a whole, and it can take time for everyone to get used to it.

So here it what I wish I had: some tips for adjusting to a second child:

Be prepared

Before baby 2 arrives, talk to your first child about what to expect and what may change. Explain that the baby will need a whole lot of attention, but that nothing changes in the way you love and care for them.

Be patient

It may take some time for your first child to adjust to the new arrival. It may invoke feelings of jealousy or anger, and in turn they may act out in different ways. So you have to be super patient with them and help them through this huge adjustment.

Make time for each child individually

Even though you’ll be spending 98% of your time keeping the new baby happy, it is important to make time for each of your children on their own. Let them know its their time with you so they appreciate that you are putting them first. This reassures them they have not been replaced even if they have lost a lot of time with you.

Encourage your children to play together

It’s no surprise that getting your first child to play with your second can help your children bond and learn to get along. But equally importantly, It can also give you some time to relax and catch your breath. Because multiple children are exhausting!

Get help when you need it.

If you are struggling with the adjustment don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s so important to keep talking to your partner, as well as seeking help from family, friends, or a professional. We didn’t seek help until we were completely shattered and I regret that.


So there are all my adjustments of a second child my exhausted, running solely on caffeine, brain could fathom with a few tips I wish Id read before Sprout arrived.

But I’ll say it again, it is worth it. Every single second.

If you have two, what’s the biggest thing you learned in that transition? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

Daddy, Munchkin and Sprout

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The Potty Training Journey so far.

Potty training is probably the first major hurdle since moving Munchkin to his new his new room all those many moons ago – see the next 2 me to nursery transition. It was feared by us as it is by many parents, yet on reflection (so far that is!) it hasn’t been that much of a rocky transition. Here’s how we’ve succeeded so far in five steps.

Ignore the pressure

I remember the first mention of potty training from an online development check. A development check where the nurse didn’t even need to see Munchkin, so didn’t know he was alive let alone could walk, talk or use the potty (But that’s a moan for another day).

What I remember is feeling judged for not starting things already, even though we hadn’t seen any of the typical signs. He didn’t tell us anything about doing his business, didn’t walk to a private space nor show any emotion about it. So, we did the first steps when we were ready, and it turns out the parent is usually, and was, right.

Keep it visible

One thing we did start early was to keep a potty visible, right in the lounge, next to his play space. This meant he got used to it being there before we even mentioned what it was for. As it progressed we also got a separate travel potty for journeys out the house, letting Munchkin choose his own my carry potty.

Dedicate some time

Even though Munchkin didn’t show any signs, we honestly thought he never would. It was April half term so we dedicated the two weeks to ‘pants days!’ – a phrase he used in the morning when he would ask ‘Is it a pants day today?!

We went to the shop and let him choose his pants, we got some pants themed books (amazon link) and then just went for it.

Prepare for the clean up

The first few days were a mess, going through all 12 pairs of pants in one morning. But we persisted, bought more pants and carried on. It was stressful but we made sure we reassured Munchkin ever step of the way.

By day five he was starting to smash it, but we were using a lot of regular reminders and checks.

By week two we had no accidents and then by week 4, we returned to our normal work week completely dry, autonomously going himself without any reminders. We have had the odd little accident since but otherwise he’s smashed it.

The transition to the big toilet

The transition to toilet was even more simple. We bought a stool and seat for him which he was excited to use. We then just reminded him he could use either when he said he needed to go. Within a month the potty was gone and we only used the toilet.

The future

Who knew potty training was such a multi faceted coin? The future holds and night time training (we are not at all ready for this one!). But at least the pressure is off with that one.

Thanks for reading,

Daddy and Munchkin

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Febrile Convulsion in Children

*The information in this post is based on the advice from NHS UK. Please always follow your own area’s medical advice.

One hot day in May…

The reason I wanted to post about Febrile Convulsion (temperature related seizure in young children) is because we experienced one in Munchkin recently during half term and I wish I had known more before.

It was a very hot day and we spent a lot of time in the garden playing in and around the paddling pool. Toward the afternoon, Munchkin got very hot and sleepy. Thinking it was heat exhaustion, we gave him plenty to drink, popped his feet up and lay on the sofa to an episode of Hey Duggee. Twenty minutes later he was back to himself running about the house. We were immediately more cautious, staying inside and keeping water arms length from Munchkin.

He went to bed as normal, in limited clothes as it was very hot. The only difference we noticed is that he asked to sleep asking “Munchkin sleep now”, while It’s normally a little more difficult.

It must have been around 9:30 pm went we heard a weird noise come from Munchkin. We instantly turned on the camera app and witnessed his first seizure, running to his bedside and calling 999. After nearly 24 hours Munchkin was back home, the only lasting effect being Mummy and Daddy watching him like hawk ever since.

Part of me just wished we had known more, to ease our fears a little. Hence I am writing this post.

Febrile Convulsion in Children

Febrile Convulsion’s are brief seizures which can occur when a child (normally aged between 6 months to 6 years) is running a temperature. This is because, in developing children, the high temperature can disturb normal brain activity. It’s commonplace, with three cases in every 100 children and children fully recover with no lasting effect on learning or development.

Normally children only have one in their life (with 1 in 3 experiencing more than one). The overall risk of epilepsy is slightly increased after experiencing a febrile convulsion.

Febrile convulsion in children

Preventing Febrile Convulsion

Febrile convulsions are caused by running a high temperature, so, whilst not completely effective, the methods to prevent them are the same as treating a high temperature:

  • Keep your child hydrated
  • Treat with Paracetamol or Ibuprofen following normal dosage limits.
  • Cool their bedroom and remove clothing if sweating.

If a convulsion happens its important to place them in the recovery position and clear the area for anything that could harm them. Keep track of how long the seizure lasts.

When to call 999

We were right to call an ambulance as it was Munchkin’s first seizure.

Call 999 if:

  • Your child looks unwell or septic (symptoms of Sepsis – NHS UK)
  • It’s the child’s first convulsion.
  • Your child has several short convulsions in a short space of time or more than one in 24 hours.
  • If the seizure is a focal seizure. This means its on one side of their body or may last longer than 24 hours.

Further reading

Febrile seizures – NHS (www.nhs.uk)


As I said, the only effect for Munchkin has been me and Mummy watching him like a hawk and stalking him with a water bottle on hot days. We just wish we had this information beforehand, to allay our fears at the time.

Thanks for reading,

Daddy and Munchkin

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Encouraging Children to Read

Children often love to read without motivation but sometimes they need some encourgement. For example, statistics have shown that previously, only 58% of children enjoy to read and only 30.8% read daily (based on 49,049 children and young people aged eight to 18). I believe what we do to stimulate reading enjoyment in Munchkin will hopefully make him one of those 50%, be it making it fun, accessible or part of routine.

Make books visible and accessible

How many times do you want or need to do something but can’t be bothered because the thing you need is in a different room or upstairs? Its the same with reading. Keep books accessible and visible. Put them in their bedroom, and downstairs in their play room or share the bottom shelf of the bookcase so they are always on hand.

Once, we were trying to be more tidy and conseuqently, Munchkins books became less visible. We instantly noticed a dramatic decline in the amount he actively chose to read. We quickly realised that, as he would not see books he would therefore not be enticed to read them.

Make it routine

The easiest way to start reading with young children is to make it part of the routine. We have always let Munchkin choose two books before bed and offer them whenever he wants to do change activity. Sometimes one book leads two and then to a whole stack of them.

Incite their imagination

Incite their imagination by expanding on the story. Try asking ‘what could happen next?’ or ‘what noise would that animal make?’ or ‘what would your super power be? We find you can talk around the book for much longer than just simply reading it, and it adds much more value and learning to the story. I find it makes it much more interesting too, especially if its one of their favourites they have asked you to read on repeat.

Similarly, maintain your enthusiasm, no matter how many times you have read a certain book. Reading to children should always be approached with enthusiasm and emphasis, and this should be the case whether its the first read or the 50th.

Don’t restrict reading to books.

Reading shouldn’t just be with books. Engage in reading whenever the moment arises. For example, Munchkin likes to sound out letters on notices and road signs, when we walk, and we tell him what they say. Real life learning on the go at its best.

Let them read to you. Even before they can.

I got this little nugget from Munchkin himself. Sometimes he wants to take the driving seat and read to us, ‘Daddy read this one, (Munchkin) read this one’. Its a great way to see a book through his eyes and allows us to incite his imagination by asking around what he picks up, next time. It’s honestly surprising how much of a story Munchkin can relay at just two years 4 months old.

Get books related to their interests

Seems an obvious one, as no one likes to read things that do not interest them, but its essential advice. If they like peppa pig, she has books, if they love the ocean, you can get plenty about the sea, if they like being eco-friendly there’s books for that too and of course, Duggee has them (woof woof!).

It would be no surprise to you that Munchkin loves a bit of nature if you saw his book collection with ‘woods’, ‘under the sea’ and nature crossovers like ‘flamingo play’s bingo’.

Incorporate books into play

Consider setting up an activity around a book theme. For example, set up a nature play zone around ‘That’s not my hedgehog’, or get a book on trains and get the tracks out. The options are endless.

Talk around the written words

While its lovely to read the book word for word, it can stimulate their imaginations by adding extra details. Put simply, just say what you see.

Thanks for reading, enjoy reading more books!

Do you have any tips to encourage reading in your children?

Daddy and Munchkin

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Ways for Dads to bond with a Newborn

From the moment you enter the maternity ward, your world flips upside down. You used to be the decider of your sleep schedule and knew roughly what time of day it was by how you felt. Suddenly, as you appear from that sauna hot room of first cries, sweat and tears, everything has changed. Your now a Dad and so here’s some tips to help bond with that little ball of cuteness.

Rewind! Bonding starts with the bump

I got a little ahead of myself there. Bonding actually starts way before you even think about packing your hospital bag. From six months of ‘cooking’ inside Mummy’s belly, your little one can begin to learn. I’ll admit its weird at first, but then this is the time to introduce yourself, so they know who you are from day one. Oh and so they are used to your terrible singing voice from the onset!

Hello, little one

From day one there are many things you can do to build your bond, many of which are super simple.

Be present

No little one is going to bond with someone who isn’t there. Make sure you’re at home and engaged with the new arrival. Cancel some pub trips, sport or xbox time, get on the sofa, and have a snuggle. Share the feeds, where possible and get up during the night, and share the feeds and nappy changes. Sit by the bath and help at bath time. Read a book at bedtime. Just be there.

Do things babies enjoy

It may seem obvious. But engage with the new baby by doing the things babies enjoy. Pull faces, smile, sing, rock, snuggle, and be the general goof you know you are. You’ll be rewarded by looks of joy, later smiles and then giggles.

Display affection with kisses and cuddles and have some skin to skin time. It works just as well for Dad just as much as Mum.

Have some one on one time

This has a double benefit. It gives Mum some time for some ‘me’ time and gives you time with your new child alone. Go for a walk, and get the satisfaction of all the smiles you get from passers-by. Or go one further, take your baby to ‘Rhyme time’ or ‘Messy play’ or ‘Baby massage’.

If you really want to go to town, and your other half doesn’t mind returning to work early, do we me and my Wifey did, and share parental leave. My wife Natalie took the first six months, and I took the latter. This meant I had 8 hours on one on one with Munchkin every week day and boy, did we have fun. You can read about SPL (shared parental leave) in this post.

And that’s as simple

Thanks for reading, do you have any other tips?

And if you are a new Dad, have a read of ‘Five tips for a New Dad‘ which echoes similar sentiments to this post with other tips for new Dads.

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10 things I’ve Lately Learnt as a parent.

Last time I wrote one of these posts things were different (find it here). We were allowed out of the house for non essential reasons, Munchkin was a tiny 8 month old, and our biggest fears were feeding Munchkin the right things. So at two years old, here’s the latest things we have learnt.

1. Even as they sleep through the night the tiredness continues

You fool yourself that tiredness will improve as they master sleeping through the night. But no, the days become more demanding, and as a result you are equally sleepy.

2. They grow up too fast

It’s a line you’ve heard before and its true. One minute they stay still, the next they are running from room to room. One minute they giggle and ‘ga ga’ and the next they sing full lullabys and demand what they want, when they want it. Time flies when you are a parent.

3. Parenting (at this age) improves lockdown

I think we are lucky we have Munchkin in lockdown. We haven’t lost our minds with boredom or completed Netflix. Entertaining him keeps us entertained and consequently improves our lockdown.

4. They copy every thing you do

This thought always takes me back to that old smoking advert showing toddlers smoking crayons as they copy their parents. But its apparent daily how munchkin picks up little mannerisms or turn of phrase. Often surprisingly quickly.

5. If they like to climb, every household object is a climbing frame

We’ve got a climber in Munchkin. Every time he’s quiet he’s either mounting a dining chair or jumping on the sofa. The world is his playground, which means we need eyes in the back of our heads.

6. Nursery is amazing for development, albeit blooming expensive

We can’t fault our decision to use nursery, although it costs a bomb. He learns something everyday, grows in confidence and it gives him the opportunity to see and bond with others his age (especially important right now!)

7. You will eventually get bored of certain programmes

Don’t worry Dugee, there’s always room for you, but move over Teletubbies and In the Night Garden, if I never see a Ninky Nonk or Tubby custard again it will be too soon.

8. The last stage always seems easier

When they progress through the developmental stages, you are always eager for the next stage. But when they come, you always miss the ease of the last. The important note here is to live in the moment, moving on from the past and not looking into the future. Just enjoy the here and now.

9. You shouldn’t feel offended when they don’t choose you

As they find their voice, they start to make choices, and this includes which parent should do what. Munchkin went through a 100% Mummy phase, to a 100% Daddy phase and now its mostly 50:50 again. It is believed that when your child begins to choose, its because they feel safe and secure, so it should never offend as saddening as it may be.

10. There is no parenting manual

This needs no explanation. All our children are different and therefore there’s no manual or rule book that dictates when things should happen. If there was, Munchkin would have been late for all the gross motor targets. But now hes running about like an Olympic runner so all is good.

learnt as a parent

Thanks for reading,

If you want to see what we learnt at Eight months, check it out here.

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Montessori Methods at Home

Montessori play is something I’d never heard about before becoming a parent but is something so great for development. What it means to me is giving Munchkin that freedom to choose what to play or do, making those choices accessible, learn through play and learn life skills.

Here’s a quick what to do to set up Montessori style at home and how we’ve done it, some of which by chance.

1. Designate an accessible place for everything

This comes down to making things easy reach for your child. From toys, to books, to arts and crafts and snacks and drinks.

For us, we have all toys in low drawers and shelves, clothes for nursery days in bottom drawers, books under the TV for little hands to grab, and Munchkin level snack shelves so he can choose when he’s hungry and what to eat (within reason!).

2. Emphasize Life Skills

This swings on how even young children are capable of pitching in around the house in one way or another and by helping, it sets them up to be considerate and capable adults.

With Munchkin, this occurred naturally. Start to clean, he wants a cloth to join in too. Approach the dishwasher, he wants to help empty it. Hang out the washing, he would help ‘sort’ and pass the items to be hung. I always take him to show him jobs like watering the plants. I’m just too scared to give him a watering can indoors just yet!

3 .Teach Concentration

This is one I could question, but when you read, its about identifying your child’s interests and setting things up to keep them concentrating and thoroughly exploring for a period of time.

We know Munchkin loves the outdoors and a good sensory play activity. So we set up some time and some space and try to make the activity evolve to keep his interest and therefore concentration. For example, we set up an ice play activity, then introduced bubbles and coloured water later to evolve the play.

4. Give them their best learning environment


Discover where your child likes to learn and provide that space. Some children prefer solitude where others like the middle of the room. We have two spaces, a playroom and a play space in the lounge. Munchkin chooses where to go to play, and whether or not to ask for our hand to lead us to join him.

5. Focus on Inner Motivation, Not Reward

This Montessori method is about rewarding behaviour and progress with verbal feedback in moderation, over physical rewards such as stickers or sweets.

This is an easy one and one that we do naturally. Say well done, that’s great, we are proud of you and clap with him at big moments.

6. Use Child-Sized Furniture

For this one we have a tuff tray for floor messy play fun and a mutable for Munchkin sized table activities. We use the high chair when baking to bring the mixing and making to floor level.

If you’d like to know more about Mutable, see my review here.

7. Make Their Bedroom Child-Friendly

This echoes some of the previous points by giving them a play space, so if they wake early they can move from bed to play on their own.

Munchkin rarely uses it, but we have always had a third play space in his room ready for when he moves from cot to cot bed.

Future Montessori plans for Munchkin

One idea we’ve had to expand our Montessori offering at home is to create seasonal nature trays and more role play tuff tray activities, such as making a farm or zoo.

Do you have any tips or things you do at home? Let us know in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

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The Constant Lessons with a Little One.

Everyone knows that parents either learn a lot or just constantly wing it. So now Munchkin is now a toddling, more communicative, more hilarious, ever lovable ball of pure joy, there’s a few more lesson’s I have learnt on the journey called parenting.

1. Weaning them = changes in mealtime expectations for you.

If you are a big fan of eating your toast hot and your Weetabix crunchy, you may have to adapt how you make food for yourself. By the time I have breakfast ready for the Munchkin, then for me and my wife, Munchkin in the highchair and styling in his Bibado then there’s no chance everything is in that perfect condition or temperature. Luckily, I’m not too fussy so all is good.

lessons with a little one
A little smiley one at breakfast

2. There isn’t a word in our language for how tired you are.

Its true, you can get to places beyond tired, but it doesn’t stop you developing that little human into whatever big human they one day will be. Role playing with his kitchen, singing and dancing to the Wiggles, or in sensory exploration through bubble time, splashing fun or painting with those little hands, tiredness stops nothing.

3. Welcome to repetition, repetition, repetition…

Munchkin initiated reading time in the mornings after his milk by passing a book to me. What a lovely idea I thought. We read five books, one by one. Well, when I say read, I more mean something like:

‘That’s not my fox its tail is too….that’s not my….The End’. As he rapidly skips through the pages.

By day three on that selection of books we had chosen a favourite. And that book needed to be read over and over and over and over. Again and again and again.

4. With increasing development comes increasing hilarity.

With ever developing language come ever funnier moments. Whether it be a perfectly timed giggle or squeak or a slightly imperfect pronunciation when copying us, there are daily moments Munchkin has me in absolute stitches. And, of course, he laughs along with me.

5. You learn a new meaning for the word Love.

We all think we know what love means. I love my family and I love my wife. But every day you experience a different type of love for your little Munchkin. It’s the same squishy mushy feeling you have for your partner, but at the same time, something different. Its inexplainable but perfect.


So with every new day we learn something new which only just adds to the marvellous job of being a Daddy.

Thanks for reading,

Daddy and Munchkin

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Things I’ve learnt on this journey called parenting

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After 8 months of first child Munchkin madness here’s a few things I have learnt along the way on our parenting journey…

1: Advice is often, if not always, conflicting

With a new baby comes a barrage of information. There’s the NHS website, NHS courses, private courses, staff during pregnancy, after pregnancy and post natal care.

Oh and then there is other websites, apps, blog posts and chat boards. Then with anything, be it weaning, sleeping, routines, or milestones there is different information and advice on each source.

For us, we just took an overview of many sources, then just went with our hearts and did what we thought was best for our little muffin. After all, a parent knows their child the best.

person with difficulty and questions in studies
Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

2: Enjoy every minute

Yes it’s a ballache (or maybe a …breast ache?) waking up at 1am 3am 5am to get up for work at 6am however it doesn’t last long.

Before you know it, the days are over when they can fit in your arms for a nap and now it’s time weaning and rolling over or chasing them as they crawl and then run away. Time goes fast so saviour every moment, the good, the bad and the ugly.

3: Nothing can really prepare you

We skipped along to the antenatal breast feeding class and came away brimming with knowledge and confidence. Four weeks later our Munchkin arrived and it was all shot down in a day.

Nothing can really prepare you. I’m not knocking the classes, but merely saying to take all the advice with a pinch of salt. Every baby is different and every baby will behave differently to the average baby in every little thing they do.

4: You don’t need everything or the best of something

If you’re left thinking ‘how am I going to afford everything I need for my baby‘, one of the biggest things I have learnt is you dont need everything and you dont need the best of the best. We personally invested in a good travel system, but opted for a cheap rocker and play mat.

Facebook marketplace is your friend too. There is many a bargain of baby bits on there!

5: It will get easier

You thought you had a bad day before parenting? Oh how wrong you were.

However, its always short lived. Me and Natalie had the worst first 5 days following our Munchkin’s arrival as he initially struggled to feed then forgot how to sleep, however it was just 5 short days. For every bad day there is equally a day of magic and joy.

6: Hurdles are there for leaping over

My biggest hurdle I found was that I was so used to being in my happy bubble where I would always have my wifey, family or my friends by my side.

However, stepping into shared parental leave I was suddenly on my own. This made leaving the house with my Munchkin alone to go to a baby group where im the token daddy on shared leave – a much bigger step than i expected.

woman in red tank top jumping on obstacle
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

But hurdles are there to be overcome. I started with small steps in getting out the house and going around the block and back home then it wasnt long before i could go anywhere. Whatever your hurdles may be, don’t fear them. Approach them slowly and you will jump across them.

Finally…

In most things there isn’t a right or wrong. There’s a choice.

When it comes to parenting, choose what you want to do and how you want to raise your child. For example, we use a Montessori style, but that may not work for everyone. We are all different because of the different ways we are raised and that what makes the world interesting.

Thanks for reading,

Daddy and Munchkin

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